birther of babies

1. I am not the average woman.

I have seen many episodes of "Baby Story" that are very similar. However, I have never seen a woman on the show like me. As I entered heavy labor for Isla, I remember shouting, "I don't want to be like one of those women on Baby Story!" And I got my wish, I was not like one of those women, I was weirder.

I was replaying in my mind today some of my "discussion topics" aka things I was shouting while in labor with Isla, and I realized they really did not make any sense. While shouting, "I feel like an alien! I'm an alien! I can't control my body!" is already very strange, it really doesn't make any sense. What do aliens and intense pain have in common? Do aliens feel intense pain? I think what I meant was that I did not feel like myself, therefore, I was an alien. I think for a brief moment in time I experienced what it might feel like to be insane. I will keep that in mind when I think I am losing my mind some days. I'll just remind myself of the whole "alien thing" and then I'll think, "now that's crazy!"

2. I'm pretty cool.

After I delivered Isla without any medical assistance (drugs), I felt like I was the bomb. It was not necessarily my intention to go o-natural, but that is how things played out and I really felt like I deserved an award after pushing a baby out the "old fashioned way". However, I was not biting on a piece of wood at the time like they did in the olden days (I think I saw that on an episode of "little house on the prarie").

3. I really love talking about birth stories!

Today I heard the best story. To sum up what was by far one of my most favorite and amazing birth stories ever, this mom had a doctor delivering her twins (vaginally) that kept falling asleep while she was pushing, she had the narcoleptic doctor and another doctor coming in and out tag teaming, it took two hours for the second twin to be born after she pushed out the first, and the idiot doctor left 1 LB of placenta inside of her, from which she almost died when she returned to the hospital a week later with a serious infection. Now that is a birth story. That makes pushing hard for 11 minutes look like a cake walk. I don't think I will ever look at this woman the same again. She is a true rock star.

4. I think more women need to share their birth stories. It is one thing we as moms all have in common. Maybe I'll start a club...or make a t-shirt.

"Mommy Brain" ???

Today I left my husband at the grocery store. To make a long story short, his car was in the shop and a coworker dropped him at the grocery store, where I happened to be (since we did not have his house key). As I loaded the groceries into the car, I urged him to go back in to the store for multigrain cheerios (very important item). As he hurried into the store, I drove away. It was not until I was bringing the last bag of groceries into the house and heard the phone ringing that I thought "I bet that is Andy! Who I left at the grocery store!" In a matter of minutes I had totally forgotten that Andy did not have a car, which is why he had met me at the store in the first place. Please keep in mind we live right across the street from the grocery store which should lessen the severity of this story.

This left me wondering...where DID the other half of my brain go? If I figure correctly, I lost 1/4 of it when Aislynn was born, and another 1/4 when Isla was born. SO, now I am left with half a brain. The term "mommy brain" is often used to describe this foggy headed mommy syndrome. However, I did read an article recently (based on a book) where the author suggested that this whole "mommy brain" thing is totally off, and that women actually get smarter after having kids. Well, I am looking forward to the day when that happens! To bad that day was not today.

I would like to say though, that I have come up with a small list of ways I have gotten wiser from baby number one to baby number two. Currently, I have not thought of that many ways as I am working with half a brain here.

Hope

Hope...
that things will get better
that your child will use the toilette before she goes to college
that your house will stay clean for more than 5 minutes
that one day everyone will take a nap at the same time (including you!)
that someday jeans will feel more comfortable than elastic waist pants (probably not)
that you will find the other half of your brain
that what you are doing now really does matter
that your children will be best friends
that you are a good mom even without a shower
that you will get through the roughest day
that things aren't so hopeless
in the Lord.

"Our problem is not so much that God doesn't give us what we hope for as it is we don't know the right thing for which to hope...Hope is not what you expect."-Max Lucado God Came Near

I love Mondays

I love Mondays. This is a phrase you will never probably see on a t-shirt in any language, in any country, on any continent. However, if you are looking for a conversation starter, I recommend you get yourself one of these shirts made. Most people dread the weekend to be over as they must return to work bright and early, Monday morning. The reason I love Mondays is actually rather stupid and in no way deep and insightful. It is simply because my favorite show is on from 8-9 which I find to be inspiration for the week ahead. Currently, I am in love with the show, "John and Kate Plus 8." The show follows the life of a real family living in Penn as they raise their three year old sextuplets (that's 6) and twin, seven year old girls. Hence the John (dad) and Kate (mom) plus 8 (children). It should be fairly obvious why I find this show inspirational. When I feel overwhelmed sometimes raising and taking care of my 2 little girls I just think, what if I multiplied them by 4, or what if I had 6 Aislynn's. Whoa. Those thoughts help me shake off the stress and be thankful I have only birthed 2 babies and am not driving a commercial van. While things could always be calmer, cleaner, and quieter, they could also always be crazier, messier, and louder. At the end of one episode of the show, Kate said, "Every day is painfully the same, yet drastically different." I completely agree. Sometimes I feel like I am doing the same thing over and over each day, yet each day is unique and different than the day before. I am learning to embrace the newness of each day, view the monotonousness as consistency, and be thankful I do not have 6 two year olds all at once!

matching pajama pants

The meeting of my non-biological twin was a very stressful and exciting day. Especially since I did not know that I was meeting my non-biological twin on that day! If someone would have told me, "When you go to college you are going to meet your best friend. You will have tons in common, sometimes lead parallel lives, make similar mistake and triumphs, marry college roommates, work together, have babies at the same time, oh-and by the way-she will be your "randomly selected" freshman year college roommate," I would have never believed it. I think that Angie and my pairing as roommates has to be the most successful match in all of roommate selection history.

There was a survey, a phone call, and then, the infamous introduction. On taking the survey I thought, "I am going to get the left over roommate that I have nothing in common with when we are the last two people left that they have to pair together. Or I will end up with a home schooled missionary kid with a stuffed animal collection." On making the call I thought, "Wow, I am glad she knows what Doc Martins are!" On meeting her I thought, "She looks pretty cool in her Tommy Hilfiger tank and jean shorts. I think she might be normal." I should have known, when we went to bed that night and had matching pajama pants, this was the real thing!

If there is ever a doubt in my mind that God knows what he is doing in my life, or that he has somehow forgotten about me; all I need to do is think about my best friend. I went to college a somewhat unstable girl with an identity crisis. I needed a true friend and confidante. Someone to dance with and share crazy stories. Some one to cry with and share hard times. Someone to kick me in the pants when I was being an idiot and help me see bad choices. Someone to pray with me and encourage me to make good choices. I did not know I needed all of those things when I went to college, but God did, and He decided why not bring a person into my life to be all of those things I needed.

It did not take us long to discover that we were very much non-biological twins simply birthed from different mothers. Hardly anyone believed we were randomly matched college roommates. It seemed like we had known each other our whole lives. Today I realize we will know each other for the rest of our lives. She will always be my best friend. If my daughters ask me someday, "How do I know if she is my best friend?" I will say:

A best friend...
wears matching outfits with you even if they do not find it to be as exciting as you do.
A best friend...
shares clothes with you and teaches you that there are more laundry categories than simply "dark" and "lights."
A best friend...
dances with you at 2a.m.
A best friend...
tells you things you don't want to hear.
A best friend...
lets you color her hair with a marker in class so that you can both stay awake.
A best friend...
keeps your secrets and tells you hers.
A best friend...
lets you sleep with her on your birthday even though thats not her thing.
A best friend...
saves you when you need to be saved.
A best friend...
stays your friend even when she's not sure who you are.
A best friend...
finds you when you are lost.
A best friend...
trusts you even when trust has been broken.
A best friend...
stands up for you on your wedding day.
A best friend...
embarrasses you when she tells your wedding guests you wear men's underwear.
A best friend...
knows you don't have to talk every day to stay friends.
A best friend...
visits you in the hospital when you have your first child.
A best friend...
travels to the opposite end of the globe from you so you can truly rule the world!
A best friend...
dreams big dreams with you and for you.
A best friend...
always tells you what you need to hear.
A best friend...
just knows.
A best friend...
will always be there for you no matter what.
A best friend...
knows that your friendship can withstand anything.
A best friend...
wears matching pajama pants.

a young old woman

I recently went to the doctor's office to see if my 78 day old baby ( I heard them refer to her as 78 days old when they were checking something with my insurance) had conjunctivitis-aka-pink eye. As I proceeded to the reception counter to check in, the nurse (who looked like she was in her early thirties) gasped, "You look so young!" I did not hear what she said at first as I was bending down to shove back in the pacifier that had popped out. I was sure she must have said something like, "You look so tired!" or, "You look so bad!" Both of which were very true at the moment. I stood back up and said, "I'm sorry, what did you say?" She repeated, "You look SO young!" I didn't quite know how to respond, one, because I do not think I look that young, two, I did not know if she was happy about this declaration or mad, and three, I have never been greeted that way at the doctor's office or anywhere for that matter before. My immediate response was a somewhat defensive, "I'm 27!" I did have to think for a split second to make sure I was in fact 27. The nurse half smiled as she proceeded to pull up my daughter's file. After a couple more typical doctor's office check in questions she laughed, shook her head, and declared once again, "You just look so young!" I wanted to shout back, "WHAT the heck are you talking about! Do you not see the lines starting to form under my eyes and the patch of gray hair sprouting out of my hairline!" Instead I again, somewhat defensively replied, "I also have a two year old (like that some how makes me look older) and a husband, and I had the husband before the babies." I hoped that reciting my stats might age me in her eyes. She just smiled. I went to sit down in the waiting area and thought to myself, "That was weird."
Here are a few reasons I am not That Young:
1. My body has been producing gray hair for 8 years. I now officially have more gray hair than I can remove with tweezers. I try not to look at my face too close in the mirror for fear of discovering even more gray hair.
2. When I hear current rap music as I am flipping through the radio stations I think to myself, "What IS this crap! This is the most pointless song ever."
3. I look at my sister who is currently turning 20 and a college student and think that she and all her friends don't look old enough to drive!
4. I have suffered a serious decrease in brain power. Recently at the store I was asked how old I was and I replied, "28." I did not even realize until I relayed the story to someone later that I am in fact, not 28.

I guess I am a young old woman.

a nanny day

This morning as I slowly opened my eyes and rolled over towards my stirring baby girl I was met by projectile spit up right across my chest (ironic that it should land where it originated from). Immediately it soaked through my shirt and through my favorite nursing bra. I was particularly sad about this part, since I would now need to do a load of laundry to wash this bra. That was how this morning started.
On this particular morning, more so than other mornings, I felt like I had been hit by a 5 ton truck. Not a good way to start the day. Before I even had a chance to think about a cup of coffee my 2 year old was complaining and whining about something the little einsteins were doing. Apparently, she did not want them to help the little blue car and this was very upsetting to her. Well, what started out as a simple protest of the the little einsteins, turned into a 3 hour tantrum which brings us to this point in time where I am hurriedly writing down this experience before Isla grows tired of looking at her tiny love animals on her activity mat. Finally, Aislynn appears to have stopped crying and fallen into the sleep which she so desperately needed this morning. And so I have learned four important lessons all before noon.
1. Aislynn should not go to bed at 10pm. She will wake up early the next day and she will be in a bad mood about it.
2. Aislynn should not watch the little einsteins when she is in a bad mood. She will have no patience for their adventure.
3. Owning 20 bras but having one you currently like in the rotation is not a wise idea when you are lactating and have a baby that spits up as a part time job. Buy a new bra.
4. Having a nanny is a wonderful idea. Never judge anyone for having one. Instead congratulate them for being so smart and rich.